This blog is meant to meander and ponder. I have been suffering depression and anxiety for some time now. I am discovering what it is that makes me tick and what doesn’t. I share ideas and thoughts here, and perhaps they might help others.

A little history – I was raised in a middle class family. I am turning 28 this year. My mother was in the army when I was born and left me with a babysitter who molested me on mulitple occasions. I grew up with a stepfather who was abusive, though we have since resolved this and I have forgiven him. I sometimes find it harder to forgive my mother because it is she who is supposed to protect her young. My dad was pretty much absent, but not because it was the way he wanted it, I think. I was a smart kid, but a terrible student. I began looking for love and acceptance, and really for validation, through romantic relationships. My first long term relationship began at the age of 16, and lasted through nearly four years of mental and emotional abuse. My closest sibling died in a car accident May 13th, 2004. This event brought back a lot of issues to be dealt with. But it’s really only now that I am taking a long and hard look at everything I do, say, think, and feel. I am really beginning to process these issues, resolve them, and continue on as a better, happier, and stronger person. Depression and anxiety are no fun. I want not to merely exist, or even just survive. I want to thrive.